Tough Journey

Struggling seems to be what most of us are doing right now and I wanted to share my journey with my wife and family of the past two years. It all started for us when  I lost my great job with Starbucks.  I had just lost my Grandmother, who was one the most important encouragers in my life at the time.  It was very hard to deal with that since I had just lost my best friend the year before to a murder.  Then comes our wonderful baby daughter, our second child.  My wife had left work to have the baby with plans of remaining at home for good.  Then due to my inability to concentrate at work I made some bad choices that ended up in me being separated from my job.

The economy was taking a dive and I was now jobless.  I had my part time pay from my Pastor job but it wouldn't be enough to cover all of our monthly needs.  My wife luckily was still receiving disability for the next few months.  Financial stress is very difficult on relationships and the next year or so was going to be very difficult for us.  Against my wife's wishes I started working with my Uncles at a business they needed help managing and so I became an owner in a business.  My wife had warned me to not get involved but I thought I knew better.  By the end of the year my Uncles had left the business with me holding all the debt.  It was devastating.  But it was also life changing in a great way.

See it took a lot of mistakes for us to realize what we truly needed to focus on.  I had put money as a priority in my life and so had my wife.  Now that we had failed at our business and both had no job other than my part time pay we were putting faith in God to survive.  It was very liberating and also very stressful.

When I have read the word and read others struggles you don't really appreciate them till they happen to you.  This is what I was experiencing.  God never forsook us, He always provided food for us.  I did however realize how I had been treating my wife.  I was blaming her for our problems since I felt she was supporting what I thought God was telling us to do.  I had to look in the mirror and at that point I realized that I needed to have been listening to my wife.  I had been selfish.  I thought I was doing the best for my family but I wasn't even listening to my partner.  I came on my knees begging for forgiveness and I finally let go and let God have us completely.

Shortly  after this revelation, my wife's work called and begged her to come back.  They ended up giving her a raise.  I am still searching for full time employment but God hasn't provided anything.  It is very hard and discouraging to go on interview after interview to be told you are a great candidate but then passed on.   I have put my trust in God and I know He will provide in His time.

If you have been in or are in my predicament I encourage you to let God have control.  He knows what is best for you and will give you more than you could ever dream of.  May God richly bless your life as you seek after Him.